Isolated: Espionage

BB EXPLANATION...

Hey y’all

I want to apologize for my disappearance. As many of y’all know, I was injured at a ‘BLM’ rally, during which a police officer grabbed my arm & broke my wrist. It caused me physical pain & an emotional weakening.

Then, coming back to the “who’s more likely...”-like HOH game (which i totally commend that Glyn did win & did very well! ), I was hurt.

I had to remind myself: it’s just a game.

I wanted to walk away, but I have faith in this process, and decided walking away just is not me, as a person, and I came back to show that by just being a kind person is a good thing. That nice people don’t always finish last & that by being myself, putting jobs, appearances, hobbies, names, and all of that stuff aside... that people can do well by purely being who they are.

When I heard a lot of names, stories, potential hypotheses, possible alliances, etc going in & out of my ears, I was starting to feel overwhelmed.

When I was put up on the block next to as strong of a player as Susie, my anxiety started to hit the ceiling.

When I found out it was a Dounle Evictionc my anxiety hit the freaking sky.

I needed a “mental health day,” and left everything up to fate. If I was voted out, so be it. If I was no longer allowed to play, so be it. I’m sure many, if not all, of y’all have experienced depression, anxiety, PTSD, sleep issues, or one of a million different diagnoses & types of mental health issues. My brand? Anxiety.

But I WANT to play.

I WANT to see this through.

I WANT to celebrate this to the end, and be able to cheer-on the winner (as I do love you all), and then to smile & laugh with you all at the end, when the game is over, with our actual names, like meeting new people, but knowing one another. THAT is the experience I WANT!

I had to put my laptop & my phone down for a day, but I couldn’t even make it to the 24-hour mark before coming back, catching-up & wanting to play!!!

I love you all!

I hope to be allowed to continue playing with y’all!

I mean, at least let w girl win a comp

No, but seriously... if I’m not allowed to continue, I appreciate the experience & I love you all!

...but let’s hope BB will let me continue!

&

I think everyone will gladly appreciate having you stay in the House :) As far as I'm concerned, I think you're still in the game but it's ultimately BB's call!

Good luck on the HOH comp!

Jen, I want you to know that I fully understand your issues with anxiety. I had a lot of anxiety and maybe depression during middle/high school and a bit after that. The questions in the hoh competition were difficult to answer, but I hope you won't tale them to heart. I don't dislike anyone in this house, certainly not enough to never want to speak to them again or think they don't deserve to be here. Those questions are merely meant to start drama and don't reflect our true feelings.

I truly hope you are feeling better and that you will see this game to whatever end it has for you, good or bad.