Fourth Diary Room for my fourth day
I’d like to start by making a rebuttal against the argument made by BB theta implying I haven’t used emojis in my confessional, when I used approximately one last time. I’m kidding I’m kidding, I’ll try not to make this one block of text. I’ll even add hashtags at the end of everything like this is the circle lmfao.
Alright so today started off with the dreaded POV competition. I was gonna do it last night but I lost track of time and never got around to it so I had to do it today before I left all day. In my defense, I have said since day 1 I struggled using the forums and that I’m pretty inept when it comes to navigating them. Plus, The POV was hard man. I don’t know how Sheila and Richard did it in 5/6 minutes let alone doing it within 10 minutes. I also can’t be the only one who thought that puzzle was really hard. I mean honestly I didn’t know what pieces were corner pieces and what pieces went where. As badly as I want to win a competition, it might be best that I keep losing and not to mention, showing a bad performance, so that people are never nervous against me in challenges. I could lie and save some face by pretending that I’ve been throwing these challenges but I’m gonna be honest and say that’s not the case lmao. I wasn’t thrilled that Sheila won because it gave her power but maybe it’ll make her seem more threatening competitively.
#botchedit #tryagainnextime
Onto my daily dose of discussing all my social connections. Before I talk about merging with the other group and all the new people, I think I’ll first discuss the people in group A. These diary rooms are gonna be long as hell if I go one by one through every person especially considering theres 10 new people I need to account for. I’ll try to go fast but I know I can trail off. #longdiaryrooms
So I first want to talk about my main girl Amanda. I truthfully am loving my alliance with Amanda. She’s the only person I truly do feel like I can trust 100%. I’m always the first person she goes to with information and I can tell because she’s always racing to text me. When I was gone all day I had a bunch of texts from her about new information and that just told me she really considers me her number one. She listens to everything I say and we can deliberate together what the best moves are for our game. What I also really appreciate is that we’re both kinda airheads so we can be airheads together. But again, I think Amanda can be more strategic than she wants to come off. She’s got a clear game plan in her head and I think she has the social connections and drive to pull it off. Without a doubt shes my number one #bonnieandclyde
I’m feeling more or less the same about James as I did yesterday. I can’t see him moving up on my trust scale anytime soon. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it but again as I said yesterday, it seems like he is very defensive over his strategies and opinions on the game. He was talking about Susie and how he may want to talk to her and I just told him how I didn’t like her and he quickly snapped back saying he wasn’t trying to build a deep bond with her. I was like damn I’m not coming for you James. Maybe he thinks I’m coming off too abrasive and maybe I am, but I feel like I’m always lightly gesturing things to him so I can’t imagine lmaooo. James is just a person I’m gonna use until I don’t need him anymore. If he wants to make a sudden change I’m all ears but right now I’m not sure.
#questionable
Richard is also the same as yesterday. Him and I continue our good bond so there’s not much to report on him.
#Goodvibes
Jennie and Sezer I feel connected with but also extremely distant with. I talked to both of them very little today and it just doesn’t feel authentic to me. The thing is though, I really like both of them a lot they seem like awesome people and they are the type of people I’d be friends with. Just that deep close connection isn’t there. I’ll keep trying at it though. #Socloseyetsofar
Adam and Sheila I’ve drained my energy for yesterday so I don’t have anything else to say. I’m convinced they are the couple I honestly can’t see anyone else being the couple that I’ve met from group B. They are the only two people in the entire game I have some evidence pointing towards that and after Richard told me today that Sheila told him that she just found out there’s a duo twist, when I brought it up to her yesterday, tells me she’s trying to play dumb. I just think it would be really ironic if Adam and Sheila the two least compatible people of their season were the true couple.
#Ontoyou
Now moving onto Group B, I must admit, in the nicest way, I’m not super impressed by them. In comparison to everyone I met in Group A, a lot of them seem to be very closed off. I have to understand that not everyone feels comfortable opening up right away and that’s fine. But why people deflect from opening up by making the conversation dry doesn’t make sense to me. That’s what I felt like with most of them, but not all. #dissapointed
I’m gonna outright say the people I’m pretty indifferent about because I didn’t get to talk to them very much and that’s Spiral, Chelsia, Aisleyne, and Grace. Spiral was kinda hard to talk to because I felt like I was being backed into a corner in relation to what conversation topics I could have. I just thought he was very vague with his answers so I didn’t have much to go off of when talking to him. Grace and I barely spoke at all but honestly she seems promising. Chelsia didn’t ask me any questions but she was good at giving long responses and going in detail so it gave me a lot to work with. I’m hoping I can keep fostering this relationship so she can trust me. Aisleyne I was really hopeful for but her conversation went terrible she didn’t ask me anything back and her responses were basically restating what I’d say. For example I could be like “wow you’re in fashion design that much be hard I heard it’s really competitive.” And then she would say back, “yeah it’s really competitive” lmaooo. Overall I’ll give it another shot with some of these characters but I’m feeling pretty meh about them. #unimpressed
Pete is somebody I really liked upon first talking to. I wasn’t sure what to expect with him considering I didn’t know there was a person playing as a Pete in this game until I saw the conversations flooding in lmfaooo. However we bonded a lot right off the bat. The fact that he’s from Philly which is so close to where I live and he goes to the same shore town as me is insane. I’m gonna be shocked if he doesn’t want to continue building a relationship with me because thats a built in bond and that already builds trust. Not to mention he seems like a really dope guy and I wouldn’t mind working with him. Fingers crossed for a better conversation with him tomorrow. #EastCoastGang
The person I was most impressed with in the entire group was Parker. Parker was the only person who I felt like was a really good conversationalist and he’s hella smart. I already know he’s gonna be a threat by how much both general knowledge he knew and specific categorized knowledge. I also think he’s the one I was able to connect with the best and if I’m not mistaken he’s the closest to me in age. I think I found out I’m the youngest in the entire cast which surprises me too because I thought more people my age would do this but guess not lmfao. Amanda is pretty hesitant about him but I think I also have a good handle on her and could make her start trusting him. I’m not putting all my trust in him because he trusts Susie and I’m not liking Susie all that much but if we could get her out of the picture, then that’s something I’m willing to work with.
#promising
On the note of Susie I’m really bummed about her. I’m not gonna gas her up too hard but the best feeling I can give is when you meet a celebrity you’re so excited to see in person and they let you down really hard lmao. I just had a lot of hope for her because in my mind she’s married so I guess in my mind that translated to just being happier lmaoo dont ask me how that works in my head. In addition, based off her nomination speech, she portrayed herself to be very sweet and like a motherly figure and I gravitate towards those figures. But it was a huge let down when I began talking to her. If I remember she didn’t ask me any questions and she just sounded really entitled. I’m not trying to judge anyone too hard because maybe that’s just how she comes off and that’s probably not her true self, but the way she described how she was a model and all her other professions it just felt very egotistical, almost as if she was talking down to me. I know I asked her about her jobs it was just the delivery and the tone. In my pre-interview to the season I said that was my number one thing I can’t stand in someone and that’s a person who’s ego is huge. Who knows, maybe like Sheila, I’ll have a completely different opinion on her tomorrow. But as of right now, I see Susie as a threat and I don’t want to work with her. #wolfinsheepsclothing
Shah is the last person I want to talk about. I don’t have much to say about him other than I just don’t get good vibes from him either. He was the one person from the entire group B that was active that I didn’t originally reach out to and that’s because I had a gut feeling he couldn’t be trusted. I don’t like the way he is campaigning in the game so far and he seems seedy. Everyone could be painting him out to be bad but In addition he just seems really toxic. I don’t like how when I asked him to tell me about himself he instantly went into game talk and then deflected by asking me about myself. That puts up a red flag because in my head I wonder instantly why he deflected so hard. I’m sure he’s a good guy but in this game I don’t see a bond growing and if I had a preference he would be going in the eviction tomorrow. #byaunanimousvote
Other than that, I wanted to make one final note on how I think I’m playing the game and how I think I’m doing. I think I’m doing alright! I said in my pre interview I don’t have a whole load of confidence so it’s hard for me to outright say I’m doing awesome or I’m killing it. But I will say I am proud that I’ve been so active and that I’ve been really making an effort to develop these friendships. I said I wanted people to think I’m dumb but a nice guy and I think it’s working. I’m (unintentionally LMAOO) acting like an idiot sometimes so I think it’s making people not feel so tense with me. I just think I need to continue what I’m doing of using my social game and not making myself a threat, and I’ll be golden.
Until my day 5 confessional man these are exhausting to write...