- Mon May 24, 2021 8:06:33 am
#8292
To all @Houseguest
Hey everyone!
Once again, I need to apologize for my absence. As many of you saw I was very active for a good portion of yesterday, at least a couple hours, but then it STOPPED.
As I mentioned to a few people, Adam came at me (both privately as well as in the Group Chat) Making comments, calling my name, and much more in regard to my mental health. Telling me that I am “hi” or in anyway speaking about my medication, Which he doesn’t even know if I’m on any medication, and referring to them as “drugs“ is despicable.
I’m not sure how the vote went last night, but I really didn’t care.
The moment I logged off, I began crying. I cried, and cried, and cried… Until I fell asleep. That was around 5-6pm.
I had all intention of attending last nights game, and being a heavy-handed part and getting rid of somebody as maniacal and dirty as someone like Adam, who treated somebody publicly putting out their mental health issues in the way that he did.
I could have come on yesterday and said absolutely nothing. I could’ve said “I really lost track of time,“ or “my dog ran away and I had to run around all night trying to catch him”... but I didn’t. That’s just not me. And I’m pretty sure that all of you know that just isn’t something I would do.
While many of you find me to be nice, I am. And I don’t think it’s a weakness, is Adam told me it is. I believe my kindness, and good hearted, loyal feelings and behavior are what makes me who I am. None of you know what I’ve been through in my past. But it doesn’t matter right now, during this game. And I started out skittish, afraid to tell anybody anything about my personal life. And the one person who I was close to, left at the beginning of what… Week two?
So, my point is… If you think that I am weak, go ahead… Vote me out. If you think you can beat me… Hit me. You probably will.
But the reasons for me to lose or not because of my mental health, there because you are all strong players, who is one challenges, and I am not.
My mental health does not make me a bad competitor, a bad person, or week.
Many of you have formed friendships with me (or so I hope ) And I do hope to continue those friendships, even after the game, when We know each other’s real names, and can talk over social media. But-one. Person who I absolutely cannot call a friend is somebody who tried to use something like my mental health as a weapon on myself.
Once again, I am unsure about what occurred, but if Adam is gone (which I believe I’ve heard that he is), Then I genuinely look forward to continuing on with all of you in this game.
I do believe in forgiveness, but I do also have a good memory. And while perhaps at some time Adam, or whatever his name is, may apologize or may not… But everybody knows who I am: Period. And that is a kind, caring, loyal, silly person who hasn’t been able to show much competitive skill...
...but I bet you if we were in the real BB house, and competing in real BB competitions, I sure would have a better chance than these online games. I’ve never played one in my life, but I think you all for teaching me about a lot of these things. I also am hoping that I’ll be asked or invited to play again... just not at the same time as when I’m moving
Because yes, my online competitive skills straight up SUUUUUUUUCK, but... socially & strategically, I do have something’s to offer. And if you want it need that in your game from here on out, here I am!!!
(As long as @Big Brother will allow me to continue onward with y’all.)
If I can continue to play, now that the cancerous growth, known as Adam, is removed, I’ll be signed in j active 24/7 until this game is over. Even when I’m sleeping, I’ll keep my phone AND laptop next to me I’m case I’m wanted or needed.
THAT, I PROMISE!
If not, I guess I’ll see y’all at the reunion... at a different time than when Adam’s around, OFC!
Love y’all!
Hey everyone!
Once again, I need to apologize for my absence. As many of you saw I was very active for a good portion of yesterday, at least a couple hours, but then it STOPPED.
As I mentioned to a few people, Adam came at me (both privately as well as in the Group Chat) Making comments, calling my name, and much more in regard to my mental health. Telling me that I am “hi” or in anyway speaking about my medication, Which he doesn’t even know if I’m on any medication, and referring to them as “drugs“ is despicable.
I’m not sure how the vote went last night, but I really didn’t care.
The moment I logged off, I began crying. I cried, and cried, and cried… Until I fell asleep. That was around 5-6pm.
I had all intention of attending last nights game, and being a heavy-handed part and getting rid of somebody as maniacal and dirty as someone like Adam, who treated somebody publicly putting out their mental health issues in the way that he did.
I could have come on yesterday and said absolutely nothing. I could’ve said “I really lost track of time,“ or “my dog ran away and I had to run around all night trying to catch him”... but I didn’t. That’s just not me. And I’m pretty sure that all of you know that just isn’t something I would do.
While many of you find me to be nice, I am. And I don’t think it’s a weakness, is Adam told me it is. I believe my kindness, and good hearted, loyal feelings and behavior are what makes me who I am. None of you know what I’ve been through in my past. But it doesn’t matter right now, during this game. And I started out skittish, afraid to tell anybody anything about my personal life. And the one person who I was close to, left at the beginning of what… Week two?
So, my point is… If you think that I am weak, go ahead… Vote me out. If you think you can beat me… Hit me. You probably will.
But the reasons for me to lose or not because of my mental health, there because you are all strong players, who is one challenges, and I am not.
My mental health does not make me a bad competitor, a bad person, or week.
Many of you have formed friendships with me (or so I hope ) And I do hope to continue those friendships, even after the game, when We know each other’s real names, and can talk over social media. But-one. Person who I absolutely cannot call a friend is somebody who tried to use something like my mental health as a weapon on myself.
Once again, I am unsure about what occurred, but if Adam is gone (which I believe I’ve heard that he is), Then I genuinely look forward to continuing on with all of you in this game.
I do believe in forgiveness, but I do also have a good memory. And while perhaps at some time Adam, or whatever his name is, may apologize or may not… But everybody knows who I am: Period. And that is a kind, caring, loyal, silly person who hasn’t been able to show much competitive skill...
...but I bet you if we were in the real BB house, and competing in real BB competitions, I sure would have a better chance than these online games. I’ve never played one in my life, but I think you all for teaching me about a lot of these things. I also am hoping that I’ll be asked or invited to play again... just not at the same time as when I’m moving
Because yes, my online competitive skills straight up SUUUUUUUUCK, but... socially & strategically, I do have something’s to offer. And if you want it need that in your game from here on out, here I am!!!
(As long as @Big Brother will allow me to continue onward with y’all.)
If I can continue to play, now that the cancerous growth, known as Adam, is removed, I’ll be signed in j active 24/7 until this game is over. Even when I’m sleeping, I’ll keep my phone AND laptop next to me I’m case I’m wanted or needed.
THAT, I PROMISE!
If not, I guess I’ll see y’all at the reunion... at a different time than when Adam’s around, OFC!
Love y’all!
James liked this